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Out of Left Field: Hair!

by Steve Keene

MLBLogoHowdy! Looking for your (semi-regular) fix of the weird and wonderful from the fine old sport of baseball? Well, lucky you! You’ve come to the right place. We might be reaching the ‘business end’ of the season, with pennant races and all that on the horizon, but let us not forget that there is more to baseball than that. Take my (virtual) hand, as I guide you through this week’s more interesting stories…

This week’s major story in the Out of Left Field offices has to be legendary broadcaster Vin Scully discovering the mullet. Sadly, this wasn’t in the barber’s chair as he looked at himself in the mirror, but still, this is clearly a major development. During Wednesday’s Rockies/Dodgers game he spent some time discussing Troy Tulowitzki, and in particular, Tulowitzki’s hair.

After ascertaining that Troy’s mullet was not a fish, Scully explored the matter further. He didn’t seem to reach a truly satisfactory conclusion, however, stating, “Ah… alright now… so it’s just a lot of hair, the mullet?” which while factually correct doesn’t really articulate the full majesty of this particular hairdo. Knowing Scully he will soon be conjuring up a wonderful turn of phrase to describe ‘the mullet’.

In all honesty, I’m kind of surprised he hasn’t come across this haircut before. I mean, professional baseball has not been afraid of bad hairstyling decisions in the past, has it? But then again, maybe this just illustrates the timelessness of Vin Scully. Here is a man who commentated on the 1953 World Series, after all. Incredible. I hope there are many, many more hair styles he gets to commentate on.

Has all this hair talk whetted your appetite for more fashion news? I bet it has! And I’ve got just the story for you. The Tampa Bay Rays have introduced the “BRayser”.

In case you hadn’t guessed, it is combination of “Rays” and “Blazer”, and boy is it a sight to behold, with some incredible, big, bold checks. It is also mandatory dress for the team this weekend. This should be some real motivation for all players in professional baseball. If you can put together one of the best records in the whole of Major League Baseball, you can wear a stupid jacket too!

I guess it could be worse. Season’s surprises the San Diego Padres have put in an incredible performance this year. Yet, they are being rewarded (if that’s the word…and frankly it’s not) by their team hosting a football match between Chivas USA and Chivas from Mexico, which means not only will the field get damaged, but the mound will have to be removed and then rebuilt. For a team that relies on its pitching staff, this isn’t the best move, eh? Still, let me make a prediction right here and now. Chivas will win the game.

And now on to this column’s favourite long-haired pitcher, Tim Lincecum – yes, this week’s column is developing into some kind of ‘hair special’. Hence the title. For the slower readers out there. This week Lincecum went that extra yard for the fans, climbing atop a bin to speak to them and sign autographs. Most players just let security guards hand items from fans to them, so thumbs up Tim for yet again being one of the good guys and just seeming like a normal, fun person. I heart him. I really do.

And I leave you with, quite possibly, the best catch ever. The hair, however, is average.

See you soon, folks!

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